How To Improve Emotional Regulation For Autistic & ADHD Adults

Do you feel like your emotions overwhelm you daily? You're not alone

What is emotional regulation?

As an autistic or ADHD adult, navigating the world can be a rollercoaster of feelings.

Sensory overload, social interactions, and unexpected changes can trigger intense emotions.

Whether you struggle with meltdowns, anxiety, or overwhelm, this post is for you.

We’ll explore emotional regulation, a set of skills that:

empower you to understand your emotions
respond constructively, and
stay calm even when things get tough.

Remember, emotional regulation is a skill.

It doesn’t mean you’ll never have a bad feeling ever again.

But with practice and the right tools? You can build greater emotional resilience and live a calmer, deeper life.

Why emotional regulation is hard for AuDHD folk

Emotional regulation is the ability to manage your emotions effectively.

And it can be particularly challenging for autistic & ADHD adults.

This isn’t due to a lack of intelligence or desire for control. It is because of underlying neurobiological differences.

This distinction is crucial. Because it means that struggles with emotional regulation are not your fault.

Cat stares out from underneath a white blanket with illustrated spiky lines over the top

Here are some common struggles that can lead to emotional dysregulation:

Sensory Overload: People with sensory sensitivities may find crowded, noisy environments overwhelming, leading to emotional distress.

Reduced Bodily Awareness: Low interoception (sensing internal bodily signals) may lead to emotional dysregulation due to unmet physical needs.

Misinterpreting Bodily Signals: For example, restlessness might be misinterpreted as anxiety, leading to ineffective coping strategies.

Alexithymia: Difficulty identifying and describing emotions, can lead to social isolation and emotional dysregulation in autistic people.

Rejection Sensitivity: ADHD and autism can heighten sensitivity to perceived rejection, leading to emotional volatility and difficulties in social interactions.

Needing Predictable Routines: Autistic people often value consistency and predictability due to the mental & emotional energy required to process change.

Impulsivity: Emotional dysregulation is a core component of ADHD, often manifesting as impulsivity and difficulty maintaining emotional balance.

Understanding the neurogenetic basis of regulation challenges doesn’t mean there’s no hope.

By acknowledging how your neurodivergence impacts your emotional landscape?

You can learn emotional regulation skills with greater ease and self-compassion.

Why traditional emotional regulation strategies don’t work

White woman with long brown hair in a pale jumper holds her hands up in a traditional meditation pose while looking confused. Two spiky illustrated lines sit above her shoulders

Many emotional regulation strategies rely on being attuned to internal signals.

For example, mindfulness exercises often focus on your breath or your body.

But if you struggle with interoception, it can be hard to use these techniques.

Interoception is the sense that helps you understand your internal bodily sensations, such as hunger and thirst.

Improving interoception can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation. Especially for autistic or ADHD adults.

By increasing interoceptive awareness, you can improve your ability to:

identify physical triggers
meet your physical needs
develop self-soothing techniques

The link between interoception & emotional regulation

For autistic & ADHD adults, emotional regulation can feel like navigating a storm without a compass.

Often, the internal cues that signal emotional shifts are faint or misinterpreted.

This is where interoceptive awareness comes in.

It’s the ability to sense your internal bodily signals. Like hunger, thirst, fatigue, or physical discomfort.

By honing this awareness, you gain valuable insight into how to regulate yourself.

Here’s why increased interoception helps with emotional regulation:

1. Identifying Triggers

Many emotions have distinct physical precursors.

Increased heart rate and rising tension may seem like anxiety but you might be just overheating.

You can recognise triggers before they escalate by attuning to these internal cues.

2. Meeting Your Needs

Emotions can easily spiral when you’re unaware of your physical state.

For example, unidentified hunger might be misinterpreted as anger.

But you can interrupt this cycle and address the root cause (eg eating a snack) before emotions escalate.

3. Self-regulation

Once you identify these internal shifts, you can use self-soothing techniques based on your physical needs.

Simply changing clothes, eating or resting could be all that’s required to calm your emotions.

By improving interoceptive awareness, you gain the power to manage your emotions proactively.

How To Improve Emotional Regulation for Autistic/ADHD Adults

Woman with black hair with ferns over her face smiles softly with her eyes closed

1. Prioritise physical well-being

Almost no one can regulate themselves well when their physical needs aren’t met.

For autistic/ADHD adults, this connection can be even more pronounced.

When you’re tired, hungry, or overwhelmed by sensory input, regulating emotions can become an uphill battle.

The good news is that taking care of your physical health can significantly increase your emotional resilience.

Here’s how:

Catch Those Zzz’s: Try listening to a sleep music playlist to quiet a racing mind. Or create a restful sleep routine to wind down before bed.
Move Your Body: Regular exercise is a powerful stress reliever and mood booster. Explore activities you enjoy, like Pilates, dancing, or swimming.
Fuel Your Body Wisely: You might have allergies or food sensitivities that contribute to emotional dysregulation. Consider keeping a food journal to identify any triggers.

2. Sensory management

Sensory overload is a common trigger for emotional dysregulation in both ADHD and autism.

Understanding your sensory sensitivities can help you create a calmer environment.

Identify Your Triggers: Pay attention to what sights, sounds, smells, touches, or tastes cause you distress.
Create a Sensory-Friendly Environment: This might include noise-cancelling headphones, diffusing calming scents, or dimming the lights.
Practice Calming Techniques: Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and listening to meditones can help calm sensory overload.

3. Creative expression

Healthily expressing your emotions can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation:

Expressive Writing: Journaling your thoughts and feelings can be a cathartic way to process difficult emotions and gain perspective.
Creative Outlets: Explore creative activities like painting, drawing, music, or dance to express your emotions.
Talk it Out: Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can provide an outlet for your emotions.

4. Build a support system

Two people crouch in a garden smiling as they dig in the soil

Social support can be a powerful buffer against emotional distress:

Connect with Others: Surround yourself with understanding people who accept you for who you are.
Join Support Groups: Connecting with others online & in-person who share your experiences can validate you and offer a sense of belonging.
Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy with a mental health professional specialising in neurodivergence.

5. Technology and Apps

There are a variety of apps that can support neurodivergent adults:

Calm Music Apps: Restful offers calm music specifically for neurodivergent people.
Mood Tracking Apps: Daylio allows you to track your mood, identify triggers, and monitor progress over time.
Executive Function Apps: Goblin Tools can help you break down tasks and reduce stress.

Takeaway

The key to emotional regulation is finding a toolbox of strategies that work best for you.

Increasing interoceptive awareness, taking care of your physical well-being, calming sensory overload and having a solid support system can all help.

These techniques can empower you to manage emotions effectively and create a calmer life.

Soothe stress & feel calm effortlessly with the Restful app. Download for free on Google Play or the App Store today!